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“Men are from Mars, and women are from Venus.” A timeless adage that illustrates the difference between the sexes that was eventually turned into a book in 1992. I read it when I was in my early 20s and at the time, it helped me learn a little about myself as a man. Specifically when I “retreat into my cave to figure **** out.” I recommend it to anyone who hasn’t read it, it’s pretty good from what I remember. The book highlighted an age-old truth that has been true since the human race has existed: men and women are different and as long as that is the case, we’re going to view, think, and say things differently. No amount of liberal progressivism can or will change that resolute fact.
I’ll be honest: I haven’t been on this red pill journey for long. While I’m still wrapping my head around the deprogramming of my blue-pilled conditioning, I also hope to find solutions to A lot of relationship problems that plague men and women in the black community specifically…if only a little. The end goal is to not replicate those mistakes and practice them in my relationships or at the very least, teach the next generation coming up not to. Relationships can and have failed for a myriad of reasons: compatibility issues, different expectations, differences in priorities, and financial and communication issues…just to name a few. However, it is the last issue that this perspective is aiming towards because quite simply, people don’t know how to talk to each other. It’s a problem Kevin Samuels noted before he died: men and women just aren’t talking to each other even though both parties want relationships…we just don’t know how to get together and make it work. Whether it is establishing and respecting boundaries, or taking care not to step on your significant other’s emotional landmines, it is difficult - to say the least - for two people to come together and function as one. However, I’ve stumbled on a phenomenon that has admittedly always been there, but somehow it’s not a prominent topic of discussion.
So, I was watching some street interview videos on Youtube and the topic of what a man is expected to do for a woman came up. To no surprise, both men and women agree that men are to protect and provide. And even though we are saying the same thing, our interpretation of those words and the duty attached to them is VASTLY different. When women talk about protection, they mean it in a way they can dictate and that makes them comfortable…much like how Whitney Houston’s character was in The Bodyguard. Conversely, when men consider protection, they think of preventative mitigation to risk for the sake of safety…comfortability be damned; just like Kevin Costner’s character. The same can be said about providing.
When women think of provision, they think ‘Anything I want, he’s supposed to provide’, they think about getting what they want. When men think of provision, we think of giving what is needed. The thought process is along the lines of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. The kicker is the concept of a want is tied to one’s mood which is tied to one’s emotions which are constantly in flux and so too are the things that women want.
It’s here that I realize that this is a problem that spans multiple words and phrases. Part of the reason we can’t get together long enough to make relationships work is that we are speaking two different languages yet talking about the same things…like homonyms. So I’ve compiled a list of a few words and phrases I think we could do better on in the communication department with the hopes that maybe we can get on the same page and somehow fix this mess.
FULL ARTICLE IN TMR SEMI-ANNUAL 2023 #1: https://heyzine.com/flip-book/42cf1404f9.html
I’ll be honest: I haven’t been on this red pill journey for long. While I’m still wrapping my head around the deprogramming of my blue-pilled conditioning, I also hope to find solutions to A lot of relationship problems that plague men and women in the black community specifically…if only a little. The end goal is to not replicate those mistakes and practice them in my relationships or at the very least, teach the next generation coming up not to. Relationships can and have failed for a myriad of reasons: compatibility issues, different expectations, differences in priorities, and financial and communication issues…just to name a few. However, it is the last issue that this perspective is aiming towards because quite simply, people don’t know how to talk to each other. It’s a problem Kevin Samuels noted before he died: men and women just aren’t talking to each other even though both parties want relationships…we just don’t know how to get together and make it work. Whether it is establishing and respecting boundaries, or taking care not to step on your significant other’s emotional landmines, it is difficult - to say the least - for two people to come together and function as one. However, I’ve stumbled on a phenomenon that has admittedly always been there, but somehow it’s not a prominent topic of discussion.
So, I was watching some street interview videos on Youtube and the topic of what a man is expected to do for a woman came up. To no surprise, both men and women agree that men are to protect and provide. And even though we are saying the same thing, our interpretation of those words and the duty attached to them is VASTLY different. When women talk about protection, they mean it in a way they can dictate and that makes them comfortable…much like how Whitney Houston’s character was in The Bodyguard. Conversely, when men consider protection, they think of preventative mitigation to risk for the sake of safety…comfortability be damned; just like Kevin Costner’s character. The same can be said about providing.
When women think of provision, they think ‘Anything I want, he’s supposed to provide’, they think about getting what they want. When men think of provision, we think of giving what is needed. The thought process is along the lines of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. The kicker is the concept of a want is tied to one’s mood which is tied to one’s emotions which are constantly in flux and so too are the things that women want.
It’s here that I realize that this is a problem that spans multiple words and phrases. Part of the reason we can’t get together long enough to make relationships work is that we are speaking two different languages yet talking about the same things…like homonyms. So I’ve compiled a list of a few words and phrases I think we could do better on in the communication department with the hopes that maybe we can get on the same page and somehow fix this mess.
- Independent
- I'm Fine/Nothing
- What Are we going to Eat?
- Equality
- Accountability
- Partnership
FULL ARTICLE IN TMR SEMI-ANNUAL 2023 #1: https://heyzine.com/flip-book/42cf1404f9.html
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